All of you
by krito1389
Summary: Sanji is a failure with women but his friends with more expertise in the area will help him to get the perfect woman for him, Operation Get Some (name courtesy of Franky) is on the move, but is his roommate and best friend ok with that? Sanji with others eventually Zosan.


**Dont own One Piece**

**Ch1. Failure**

Sanji is walking back to his room at the campus; he came back from a pretty bad date…again. Sanji can't figure out what he did wrong, he had everything planned out, first he would invite his angel to a lovely restaurant with an amazing view, then he would order champagne, while eating; he would tell how he feels about her and ask her to be his girlfriend and then will finish the dinner with an amazing gift. The plan was perfect, he had many dates before and he notice the mistakes he made on those, he made sure to never make them again but even so… he got rejected…again and pretty bad. Oh god, he keeps replaying the whole dinner over and over again.

-FLASHBACK-

-"It's really beautiful in here, Sanki-kun"

-"Only the best for you, my love". Replied Sanji with hearts in his eyes.

Nami truly hates the way Sanji acts with her or any other woman for the matter… but didn't say anything.

-"Soo, everything went smoothly with the trade?" Asked Sanji to make some conversation.

-"Yeah, he gave me more with a little more… persuasion…"

-"You are so clever, Nami-swan!"

-"Yeah, yeah… can we order now? I'm hungry…"

-"S-sure"

They are eating by now, Sanji is getting more and more nervous…phase three is in process.

-"Eeh, Nami-swan, are you enjoying the food?"

Nami replied without looking at him -"it's ok…"

_Ok this is it, do it!_

-"I am glad, my love. I actually brought you here with a purpose; I have someth…"

-"Sanji, before you say anything, I came here to make you happy, but remember this is NOT a date, ok? Let just…finish dinner and get back, it's getting late…"

Just when Sanji was about to reply, he heard someone chuckled. He turned around finding two beautiful women (not as beautiful as Nami tho) chuckling at him not too far from their table…

Sanji turned around with his face all red. This is NOT how he planned everything, but he can still make things right.

-"Eh…my angel…"

-"Also Sanji-kun…" God is like a mother scolding at her child. –"Stop it with the nicknames, ok? It's really uncomfortable, no more Nami-swan, my angel, my love, my goddess, mellorine…it's really embarrassing…"

Sanji could hear the two women behind him laughing by now, saying something like 'poor devil' along other things…

Sanji has his gift held securely in his right hand below the table, he wanted this moment to be unforgettable; but not like this. Tonight is pretty much a failure… so yeah, let's call it a night.

-"yes…Nami-san" Replied Sanji while taking his fork to finish his dinner.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

What is he doing wrong? As far as he knows, girls love when a man pays for dinner, gives them gifts, spoil them, protect them… he done all of this to Nami, after all she is his princess but she is not interested, and she is not the first, no woman likes him… they always ran away from him, why is that? Well it could be a lot of things, his physic, his personality… or the whole him… perhaps he is not meant to be with anybody…just a lonely wolf.

Sanji arrived at his room, just when he was about to open the door he spotted the sock hanging from the door lock.

Great, just great… his asshole roommate it's getting laid…again. Sanji sighed; knowing he would be out for a long time he decided to go to his favorite spot.

Sanji arrived at the roof of the building, this place is his and only his, only he has the keys, being friendly with the janitor guy has some rewards. It's a lovely night, full with stars. This is the only place where he is content, calm, where no woman can hurt his feelings or use him for her benefits. He is not naïve, of course he knows women like to use him but he thought that perhaps with time, they would love him for him, but he has been proven wrong.

Women are truly an enigma, he would give everything to them, everything but they rather be with the bad boy kind of guy…like his childhood friend; his roommate, for gods sake, he can't even remember their name the next morning, but they just keep coming back, they are the ones who call all the time looking for him; not the way around, they are the ones bringing him gifts, inviting him to dates, paying for dinner…and he doesn't care! True Sanji can see why women like him; he is well what many would describe as…attractive. He is big, strong; he is in the kendo club, the best for the matter, mysterious, badass…well in one every girl's dream apparently but… he is also an asshole (sometimes), an idiot who gets lost all the time, bad listener, carefree… but it seems looks wins over personality.

Without him noticing, he felt asleep there.

The sun rays made Sanji rouse, he stood up with difficulty, having slept in the floor all night its killing his back, he headed to his room, and hopefully his roommate got rid of his one night stand by now. Sanji arrived just in time to witness his roommate saying goodbye to his lady friend and God is she gorgeous.

-"Soo…you will call me right?" Asked the poor girl with hope.

-"Sure, I have your number, don't I?"

-"Yeah it's on the table, so don't forget… call me soon, bye!"

_Oh, how naïve can that girl be, but again so is he, so he has no place to judge._

Sanji's roommate turned around to look at him.

-"Wow, seems like someone also got lucky yesterday…you look like shit, shit-cook"

-"Shut up you asshole, I look like shit because someone leaved me out of my room to fuck another innocent girl…"

-"hey, don't be mad at me, we both set that rule, it's not my fault you can't never get any"

_Bastard… but he is right, it's not his fault._

Sanji got inside without saying another word; he will not talk to this idiot. Unfortunately his roommate had something else in mind.

-"So, how was your date with…with…what was her name again?"

-"Nami…well not bad". _A catastrophe_.

-"When you say 'not bad', did you actually mean really bad?"

_He knows me too well_ -"Well… we both decided to stay friends, it's for the best"

-"When you say 'both' did you actually mean…"

-"Oh for God's sake, yes ,yes, she, SHE decided for us to stay friends, SHE doesn't like me that way, SHE thinks I am annoying…!" _Fucking asshole it's like he enjoys watching me suffer._

-"Oh…"

_Oh, Oh? That's all he has to say? _-"Now if you excuse me, I need to shower and get ready for my class…"

Sanji entered the bathroom and was about to close the door when…

-"Oi, cook!"

-"What, marimo?"

-"Can you bring me some oniguiri like last time? They were really good…"

-"Yeah…sure". Sanji closed the door and began stripping when again…

-"Cook…" Said his roommate from the other side.

-"hmm?"

-"You know, my sensei showed us a really amazing move, we can kill anyone without leaving a trace, we just need to hit the right spot and said person would collapse immediately, it would be a silent dead…"

-"I don't want her dead, marimo, are you crazy. Moreover, if we kill all the women who rejected me, the campus would be without female population in less than a month."

Sanji heard his roommate chuckled.

-"But… I appreciate the thought...thanks, Zoro"

-"Sure, Sanji"

…

_My back is killing me. I should really look for a place to sleep when marimo has company. _

-"Sanji!"

Sanji looked up to find two of his best friends, his hyperactive friend Luffy and his liar/ story teller friend Ussop.

-"Hi Luffy! Ussop!"

-"Hello, Sanji, what are we making today?" Asked Ussop.

-"Well, today we are making a soufflé…"

-"Looks yummy!" Replied Luffy.

-"It really is, Luffy"

-"So, Sanji, how was your date last night?"

He really should stop telling every one of his friends about his 'dates'.

-"Not bad, but it's not going to work"

-"What why not? You are crazy about this girl…"

-"Yeah, well…it seems to be one-sided "

-"Oh, sorry Sanji"

-"Yeah don't worry Sanji, you will find someone better, besides who need girls when we have each other?"

-"Luffy! Don't say something like that aloud, someone might take it the wrong way!" Said Ussop.

-"Why?! It's true! What can a woman give to you guys that I can't?!" Yelled Luffy.

Everyone by now, it's looking at the trio.

-"Hey you two, get out of this class!" Yelled the teacher.

-"Sorry guys, you must go, I will bring you food later"

-"Sure, thanks" Said Ussop.

-"Bye!" Yelled Luffy.

-"Eggplant, you know pretty well no one is allowed in here besides the teacher and the cooking students"

Some of said students laughed at the nickname given to Sanji. Zeff is his adoptive father and also his teacher, but the old man can get irritating.

-"I know, old geezer! No need to remind me"

-"Old geezer?! Let me show you what this 'old geezer' can do!"

And so the fight begins.

….

Zoro is sleeping in their room, today he has no classes, perfect opportunity to sleep all day while waiting for Sanji and the guys to come back with food, perfect until he heard a knock on the door.

-'Shit'. Zoro is angry, who would dare to disturb his sleep.

-"Yeah?" Zoro opened the door to find a woman with red hair. Did he ask this woman out? Did he sleep with her? He can't remember…

-"I-It's Sanji-kun here?" Asked Nami with her face all red. _He is cute._

-"No he is not, what do you want?"

-"Oh sorry…you are…?"

-"Zoro, his roommate"

-"ah Zoro, my name is Nami, I need to speak to him, do you know where can I find him?"

-"Nami as the Nami who was a totally bitch to him?"

-"Did he say that?!" Nami is furious because well, she knows it's true.

-"No…me"

-"Look, you don't know me, so you shouldn't…"

-"Che, whatever, that idiot is not here, and I won't tell you where he is… I don't like you, so I will say this once, stay away from him, he is my best friend and you are not right for him, ok pumpkin?"

-"Pumpkin?!" Yelled Nami. This guy could be hot but he is an asshole.

-"That would be all? Yeah? Ok, bye" Zoro slammed the door in her face. Nami stood a good five minutes outside petrified and then walked away furious.

-"Che!"Zoro jumped on his bed, face up. That was Nami? Sanji really know how to pick them, no… that woman is not good for the cook. He looked really down this morning thanks to that witch, well not only this morning, every time he goes to a date; he goes happy and comes back sad. He hates to see him like that, but what could he do?

….

-"Eggplant, your soufflé tastes like shit!"

-"Shut up old man, it's perfect and you know it!"

-"How are you going to help me at the Baratie, if you have no taste!"

The class ended a long time ago but Sanji likes staying for a while with his old man, as exasperating as he is.

-"So, any one special in your life?"

-"No…"

-"Sanji, when are you going to bring a lovely girl for us to meet? Are you even dating?"

-"I am old geezer, I went out with someone yesterday…"

-"And?..."

-"…"

-"Soon, eggplant, soon you will find someone stupid enough to stay with you"

-"Fuck you, you shitty old man!"

-"You little…!"

-"Sanjiii! Are you ready? I'm hungry"

Both Zeff and Sanji turned around to look at Luffy waiving and Ussop behind him scared.

-"Yeah, yeah I'm coming" Sanji took the soufflé, the nigiris and some snacks for his friends.

-"Eggplant…"

-"yeah?"

-"You will come at the Baratie on Friday, right?"

-"Of course, old geezer! Don't know how much time you have left, who knows, perhaps this could be your last birthday"

-"I am sooo going to kill you, boy!"

…..

Zoro heard a knock on the door. _I swear to God, if that fucking red head chick came back, I am going to use my deadly but silent technique and throw her body to a river_. Zoro opened the door.

-"Hi, Zoro!"

-"Hi Luffy, Ussop and… cook? Why are you knocking? Where is your key?"

-"I lost it" Replied Sanji._ Perhaps is at the 'Sanji's spot'_, not even Zoro knows where this 'Sanji's spot' is.

-"You really are a mess…"

-"Shut up marimo or no onigiri for you!"

-"You made some?"

-"Yeah" Sanji almost laugh looking at Zoro's face, he looks so content, it makes him happy to know his best friend still enjoys his food as much as the first time.

Everyone is eating; well Luffy is more like swallowing the food, they were talking about random stuff, and somehow Sanji's romantic life is the main topic now.

-"ahaha and how about the time, that crazy chick asked him to wear a chicken's suit for her then she broke up with him and kicked him out, we found him at the bus stop with that freakin' suit! "

-"Yeah, yeah enough, this is MY LIFE we are talking about"

-"Oh come on, cook. You had to admit you always go for the crazy ones" Said Zoro.

-"Me? How about you and that crazy gothic chick, who stalked you for months and made some vudu shit with some hair of yours she found in the bathroom"

-"ahahahaha, you guys are soo funny" Said Luffy.

Another knock at the door.

-"It's open!"

Ace, Marco, Franky, Brook and Law came in. Seems like all the gang is there, well except for Chopper who is studying for a big test tomorrow.

-"Hi guys!" Greeted Ace.

-"What is so funny?" Asked Marco.

-"My whole existence apparently…" Replied Sanji.

It was getting late and almost all of them were either a little high or tipsy.

-"Seriously Sanji, I know we make fun of you and all, but it sucks, I really thought that Nami girl would be the one for you…" Said Franky.

-"Oh come on! She was not!" Replied Zoro. -"She looked like the classic gold-digger type"

-"Don't talk about her like that, Marimo!" Yelled Sanji.

-"See! This is exactly the shit we are talking about, the reason why those girls leaved you; you are like a puppy following them all around, doing everything they want, that shit is not sexy"

-"you are so whipped bro, that it isn't even funny"

-"Oh, oh ok, so you are all telling me I should be more like all of you? That I should treat them bad, show indifference…" Replied Sanji.

-"Exactly…"

-"You guys are full of shit" Said Sanji.

-"Perhaps, but we are the 'full of shit' guys who get laid…"

Well, Sanji cant retorted to that, he can't exactly prove them wrong when he is the one always getting rejected. He still believes that women should be treated with respect, no matter what but did that ever worked for him?

-"You want to get laid? This is what you need to have…" Said Law.

-"You guys don't get it, it's not just about getting laid, I…I want someone I can share my thoughts, dreams and goals, someone I can rely on when I am down and eventually someone I can built a life with…" Interrupted Sanji.

-"…."

-"Dude, what sounded a little gay…" Said Ace.

-"You know what they say; needs one to spot another!"

-"Guys, guys let's get serious… look Sanji, let us first find you a nice girl and we move from there, ok?"

Sanji nodded his head.

-"Ok. Now before I got interrupted; I was saying that this is what you need to find a woman, first looks…"

-"Ok, so what is wrong with the way I look?" Asked Sanji.

-"Besides your stupid eyebrows…everything" Said Zoro.

-"Shut up mosshead! You wanna fight?!" Yelled Sanji.

-"Zoro! I said get serious!"

-"I AM serious!"

-"Aaagh, that's it! The next person to say something senseless will wake up without a kidney…" Said Law.

Everyone got quiet.

-"Now… well nothing is wrong with your physic but you can definitely improve it…"

-"Like what…?"

-"Well, you dress like a homeless, women like a man with nice clothes, not one that looks like a hipster…"

-"It's call individuality" Whispered Sanji.

-"Also your beard…seriously bro"

-"What is wrong with my beard? It proves I am a mainly man"

-"You looked like a guy from Duck Dynasty"

-"It's not that bad, don't over exaggerate"

-"Ok, ok, what we are trying to say is that with the perfect clothes and a nice clean shave, you could catch the eye of many woman….now second...Attitude, stop that 'I will be your slave' approach, what's why women take advantage of you, you need to be confident, you know? Take the wheels, show them who is in charge"

Sanji just nodded his head. _I guess I can do that._

-"And last but not least, personality…show them some interest but not too much, they like the mysterious kind of guy, but we will help you along the way so don't worry…"

-"Ok so when should we start 'Operation Get Some'?"

-"Get some…really Franky?"

-"Tomorrow, Sanji trust us ok? We are your friends and we will help you with this, but you must do EVERYTHING we say, ok?"

-"Yeah, ok" Replied Sanji.

-"All set! So guys get some sleep and arrive at 900 hours here, ok?"

-"YOSH!" Replied everyone.

-"Sanji more food please!" Whined Luffy.

-"God dammit Luffy, you ate everything while we were talking?!"

….

Everyone went to their own respective room. Sanji was brushing his teeth.

He wants the help, hell, he NEEDS the help, but… pretending to be someone he is not… Could he do that?

-"Something's in your mind, what is it?" Asked Zoro.

-"Nothing, just nervous…"

-"Don't be, you are in hands of experts, so don't worry."

-"Thanks God you are humble…"

-"I am serious; you will get your 'other half' in no time…"

-"Yeah…"

-""Night cook, we have a lot of shit to do tomorrow, who knows how long it would take to make you look normal…"

-"Asshole"

-"Bastard"

-"Mosshead"

-"Shit-cook"

-"Love ya'"

-"What?!"

-"haha, sleep well, cook" Zoro headed to his bed and try to fall sleep, for some reason, he doesn't like this plan… a girl or anyone should like Sanji for who he truly is, like he does, but Sanji really wants to be with someone and seems to be ok with this plan, so who is he to stop him…and he really, really wants to see him happy.


End file.
